B
Last week I told a perfectly harmless PMS joke, and she threw a bottle at me. Whose point did she prove there?
- Marsh (Fred Willard), complaining about Kelly (Patricia Heaton), on “Back to You”
You’re not exactly the world’s easiest passenger. “Turn here.” “Slow down.” “Not this way.” Now I know what it would sound like if my GPS was having its period.
- Montana (Ayda Field), to carpooling Kelly (Patricia Heaton), on “Back to You”
First thought: how I’m gonna kill her. Second thought: how I’m gonna get away with it.
- Lor’Rena, when she encounters a romantic rival at a party, on “Baldwin Hills”
It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.
- Bruce Wayne on “Batman Begins”
You must become more than just a man in the mind of your opponent.
- Henri Ducard on “Batman Begins”
If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart.
- Henri Ducard on “Batman Begins”
A vigilante is just a man lost in the scramble for his own gratification. He can be destroyed, or locked up; but if you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal, and if they can’t stop you, you become something else entirely.
- Henri Ducard on “Batman Begins”
When a forest grows too wild, a purging fire is inevitable and natural.
- Henri Ducard on “Batman Begins”
Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.
- Thomas Wayne on “Batman Begins”
I believe if there’s any kind of God it wouldn’t be in any of us, not you or me, but just this little space in-between. If there’s any kind of magic in this world it must be in the attempt of understanding someone, sharing something. I know, it’s almost impossible to succeed but who cares, really? The answer must be in the attempt.
- Celine on “Before Sunrise”
People can invent the best and the worst for you.
- Celine on “Before Sunrise”
Isn’t everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?
- Celine on “Before Sunrise”
Sometimes I dream about being a good father and a good husband. And sometimes it feels really close. But then other times it seems silly like it would ruin my whole life. And it’s not just a fear of commitment or that I’m incapable of caring or loving because… I can. It’s just that, if I’m totally honest with myself, I think I’d rather die knowing that I was really good at something. That I had excelled in some way than that I’d just been in a nice, caring relationship.
- Jesse on “Before Sunrise”
Everybody’s parents fucked them up. Rich kids’ parents gave them too much. Poor kids, not enough. You know, too much attention, not enough attention. They either left them or they stuck around and taught them the wrong things.
- Jesse on “Before Sunrise”
I don’t know, I think that if I could just accept the fact that my life is supposed to be difficult, you know, that’s what to be expected, then I might not get so pissed-off about it and I’ll just be glad when something nice happens.
- Jesse on “Before Sunrise”
You know what’s the worst thing about somebody breaking up with you? When you remember how little you thought about the people you broke up with and you realize that is how little they’re thinking of you. You know, you’d like to think you’re both in all this pain but they’re just like, “Hey, I’m glad you’re gone.”
- Jesse on “Before Sunrise”
Okay, well, this was my thought: 50,000 years ago, there are not even a million people on the planet. 10,000 years ago, there’s, like, two million people on the planet. Now, there’s between five and six billion people on the planet, right? Now, if we all have our own, like, individual, unique soul, right, where do they all come from? You know, are modern souls only a fraction of the original souls? ‘Cause if they are, that represents a 5,000 to 1 split of each soul in the last 50,000 years, which is, like, a blip in the Earth’s time. You know, so at best we’re like these tiny fractions of people… I mean, is that why we’re so scattered? Is that why we’re all so specialized?
- Jesse on “Before Sunrise”
I guess when you’re young, you just believe there’ll be many people with whom you’ll connect with. Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times.
- Celine on “Before Sunset”
They enjoy the goal but not the process. But the reality of it is that the true work of improving things is in the little achievements of the day.
- Celine on “Before Sunset”
What’s sad, in a way, is that the people that are the most giving, hardworking, and capable of making this world better usually don’t have the ego and ambition to be a leader.
- Celine on “Before Sunset”
You can never replace anyone because everyone is made up of such beautiful, specific details.
- Celine on “Before Sunset”
There are so many things I want to do, but I end up doing not much.
- Celine on “Before Sunset”
Maybe what I’m saying is the world might be evolving the way a person evolves, right? Like, I mean, me for example. Am I getting worse? Am I improving? I don’t know. When I was younger, I was healthier, but I was… uh… whacked with insecurity, you know? Now, I’m older and my problems are deeper, but I’m more equipped to handle them.
- Jesse on “Before Sunset”
Life’s hard. It’s supposed to be. If we didn’t suffer, we’d never learn anything.
- Jesse on “Before Sunset”
I feel like if someone were to touch me, I’d dissolve into molecules.
- Jesse on “Before Sunset”
White people believed that whatever the manners, under every dark skin was a jungle. Swift unnavigable waters, swinging screaming baboons, sleeping snakes, red gums ready for their sweet white blood. In a way… they were right… But it wasn’t the jungle blacks brought with them to this place… It was the jungle whitefolks planted in them. And it grew. It spread… until it invaded the whites who had made it… Made them bloody, silly, worse than even they wanted to be, so scared were they of the jungle they had made. The screaming baboon lived under their own white skin; the red gums were their own.
- “Beloved” by Toni Morrison
Well, if we accept your premise and also accept the highly improbable assumption that Penny is the only woman in the world for you, then we can logically conclude that the results of blowing it would be that you end up a bitter, lonely old man with no progeny. The image of any number of evil lighthouse keepers from “Scooby-Doo” cartoons comes to mind.
- Sheldon (Jim Parsons), explaining why Leonard (Johnny Galecki) should keep his scheduled date, on “The Big Bang Theory”
It’s very simple. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and, as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
- Sheldon (Jim Parsons), explaining his new game of Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock, on “The Big Bang Theory”
Our purpose is to bring superior souls into this family, not give them away to every barren Sue, Jane, and Sally on the block.
- Nicki (Chloe Sevigny) to Margene (Jennifer Goodwin), who is considering being a surrogate mother to an infertile couple on “Big Love”
It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- Bridget on “Bridget Jones’s Diary”
Resolution #1: Will obviously lose 20 lbs. #2: Always put last night’s panties in the laundry basket. Equally important: Will find nice sensible boyfriend and stop forming romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workoholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts. Will especially stop fantasizing about a particular person who embodies all these things.
- Bridget on “Bridget Jones’s Diary”
Great. Butchest moment of my life and it’s wasted on my sister.
- Kevin (Matthew Rhys), who is gay, after opening a stuck window for Sarah (Rachel Griffiths), on “Brothers & Sisters”
There are a lot of disadvantages in being at the scene of the crime. You can get arrested, you can get yourself killed, and no matter how many times you’ve done it, it’s never fun hanging out with a dead body.
- Michael (Jeffrey Donovan) on “Burn Notice”
Wilderness of Mirrors